


Stardust Madness

by TheKnitterati



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bodyswap, Humor, Hux is Confused, Huxloween, M/M, Millicent in her element, Poor Kylo Ren, The Author Regrets Nothing, cats are weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-01-11 01:29:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12311961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKnitterati/pseuds/TheKnitterati
Summary: A quiet night on the Finalizer, a quick pass through a mysterious dust cloud, and suddenly Kylo Ren isn't feeling quite himself. And neither is the General's cat, Millicent. Oh dear.Huxloween 2017, prompt 19: Bodyswap





	1. Chapter 1

“Night shift is the absolute worst.” Navigation Officer Tem Rhodes dropped his head down onto his console, even as he attempted to conceal another yawn. 

The comms tech at the adjoining workstation rolled his eyes. “You've been on this shift for three weeks. How have you not adjusted yet? Get another caf and get over yourself.” 

Rhodes produced what was possibly the most dramatic sigh ever as he sat back up. Night shift sucked and now he was being chided for complaining too? Pfffft. This day was going into the books as huge bummer. At least it was looking like a quietly boring night of plowing through star systems.

He glared at his screens, cycling through the distances and verifying the planned trajectory against their actual course. Then he saw it. Still a bit out there, but in their path and approaching at a good clip. 

Rhodes ground his teeth together, and repeated in his head what he knew to be truth: night shift is the absolute worst. 

*****************

General Armitage Hux set his datapad on the charger and rubbed his eyes. He’d stared at that screen too long again. A bad habit, and now he had the scratchy and tired eyes to show for it. He tipped his head to the right and listened to his neck give a satisfying crack. Sleep sounded like a good idea.

He stood up from the couch and walked into the bedroom. Kylo Ren lay on his belly, starfished across most of the bed. The sheet crumpled over his hips covered just enough to keep things decent but still made Hux’s breath stutter for a moment. The dimmed lights gave Ren's flesh a soft glow, almost moonlit. While it drove him mad that Ren simply stripped and dropped his clothes to the floor nightly as his evening preparations, he had to admit there were benefits to it…as witnessed by the expanse of skin displayed in his bed now.

Hux smiled and quietly entered the fresher, to prepare for bed himself. All that bare skin was giving him ideas. 

****************

“So...what is it?” Bent over the screens, Petty Officer Solate frowned at the streaky band spread across the image of their designated course. Magnified, it clearly was small particulates, almost cloud-like, but so wide. Like a big flowing stream the Finalizer would have to cross. They had run some long range scans already and there would be no going around what ever this was. Not without losing at least two cycles. It seemed to stretch on forever.

Rhodes stalled for a moment, not wanting to admit he wasn't completely certain. “Probably an asteroid belt, it has the right characteristics except the particles are all so tiny. It’s just…oddly dense. And so kriffing huge.” 

“Oooh, could be ummm…atmospheric distortion!” 

They turned to the comms tech who had interjected. 

“Atmospheric distortion from what?” Asked Rhodes, with a frown. “There's no planet near us. We are past Dagobah and halfway to Vestar. There's nothing of any substance out here.”

“Okay…auroras?” 

Rhodes pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “It's not planetary. Didn't I just say that?” 

The comms tech screwed up his face in a look a deep concentration. Then his eyes went wide. 

“Transport ship emissions!!” 

“Oh for stars sake... ok Vett, thank you but we are on this. It's covered. Go…have your break or something.” Solate waved her hand as dismissively as she could, hoping he’d go away. “Ughhhh…okay going around means a delay, which means one angry General. What does going through mean?” 

Rhodes chewed his lip and flipped through some subscreens on his workstation. “Mmmm. I think we could be through it in less than an hour. And I'm not seeing any obvious reason to fear ship damage, I mean these are pretty inconsequential in size. The only thing that gives me pause is that I'm just not fully convinced we know what exactly it is.” 

Coudia Solate didn't particularly relish the idea of charging through a band of unknown whatsit either. Option B though, was so much more unpleasant. 

“Rhodes, our only other choice is calling the General up here and getting him to make a decision. General Hux. You've seen the propaganda holos? I can say from personal experience, that scream and spit and froth thing he does when worked up on camera? NOT acting. I've seen officers nearly wet themselves when he's on a tear. Since we don't have enough information he's going to have to opt for the long way around, and that is not going to make for a happy leader. No, I think it's best we proceed. You see no imminent danger?”

Rhodes stammered a moment. “Well, no, no imminent danger.” 

“So we press on. You've heard the old adage about begging forgiveness versus asking permission. In this instance, I believe it applies.” Solate turned on her heel and stalked away, hoping Rhodes didn't notice how her hands had been shaking. 

*****************

Hux slipped between the sheets and pressed himself close to Ren. He had rolled to his side, presenting a broad bare back to Hux, who nosed against it eagerly. 

“Kyyyyyloooooo” whispered Hux, stroking his long fingers down his lover’s side teasingly. He nipped once at the flesh of his shoulder with his teeth. “Wake up, I need you. I want you, want to touch you.”

Hux illustrated this by dipping his hand under the sheet, moving his fingers in widening circles over Ren’s hip, until his fingers were grazing into the soft nest of hair between Ren’s legs and bumping against his shaft. He continued nuzzling against him, humming quietly.

Kylo moaned softly and shifted, pressing back again Hux and tilting his hips to give him better access. He turned his head and attempted to find Hux’s mouth to press kisses to it, landing somewhere near his forehead instead. They rolled into each other, lips clashing and limbs tangling. 

“Mrowr?” 

Hux pulled away from Ren’s neck, where he’d begun working on leaving a nice deep mark for the next day. He peered into the near-dark at the foot of the bed, where two bright eyes shone back at him. "Millicent, down. Off the bed, naughty kitty.” 

Millicent cocked her tabby head at her master. The big dark beast was pawing at him again, and her master was making those noises again, and Millicent was a good kitty and always checked in to be sure her master was okay. She wasn't entirely sure those were okay noises. Although she wasn't entirely sure they were not okay noises either. But she knew the big dark beast didn't much like her, so it seemed best to be cautious. 

“Mrowr.” She said again. 

Ren groaned and jiggled his leg under the sheet, trying to startle the cat into jumping down. When that didn't work, he raised his head and hissed through his teeth at her.

“Ren, really.” Hux tutted at him. “Go on Millie, off the bed Precious, Daddy is busy.” 

“Daddy is trying to get laid. Get gone, fuzzball.” Ren snarled. He tugged Hux back against his chest and resumed sliding his big hands over Hux’s ass, squeezing and making Hux quiver. Their mouths mashed together again, tongues chasing and breath panting. 

“Mrowr!! Mrowrowrowr.” Millicent stepped on Ren’s shoulder and touched her paw to Hux's cheek. 

“Pfassking cat!” Ren rolled, trying to escape the little beast who seemed hellbent on cockblocking him. 

Hux sighed, and hopped out of bed. “Let me fill her food dish, she’s probably just hungry. She’ll leave us alone if she is distracted.” He tossed his robe around himself and padded out of the room, hoping to get this resolved and get back before the mood totally went flat.

Kylo Ren flopped onto his back. Millicent crept up the bed, onto his bare chest, and peered down into his face.

“Mrowr.” She said sharply. Ren narrowed his eyes and glared at her. 

The room flared blue, infused with a strange glow. Cat and man squinted against the flash, temporarily blinded. 

*****************

“Okay, we’re in. Should be out the other side in maybe forty minutes?” Rhodes checked the readings again. “And everything still looks good, thank the stars.”

Solate grinned. “See? Like taking a candy from a droid, no problem. Keep me posted if anything changes.” 

*****************

Hux paused as he filled Millicent’s bowl. There had a been a strange flash from the other room. It had been so fast… maybe he’d imagined it. He finished filling her dish and hurried back to the bedroom. 

He dropped his robe and slithered back into bed. Ren faced away from Hux’s side of the bed, curled into a sort of fetal position, his big body tucked awkwardly tight. His breath came slow and easy, he had clearly fallen back asleep. 

Hux made a moue. He'd only been gone a few minutes. Was he that tired? Could Ren have been that annoyed about the cat to have given up already? Speaking of the cat, where had Millicent gotten to? 

Hux sat up and glanced around the room, but there was no sign of his cat. Of course. Now that she'd succeeded in some quality intimacy killing, she had run off to hide. Hux collapsed back down, and gave in to sleep. 

Across the room, peering out from the fresher door, Millicent stared up at the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was neither beta'd nor checked by an astrophysicist for plausibility. I just couldn't shake the idea from the moment I saw that prompt.
> 
> Also, you can have my over-used ellipses when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Hux was coiled tightly in the Hutt’s tail. He could feel it holding him snugly against the warmth of the creature’s body. His limbs felt heavy, he didn't struggle. He remained listless, just feeling the warm pressure of it wrapped around him. 

Until he felt the flick on his cheek. He could feel the hot breath of the Hutt, and then…was that its tongue? Wetly sliding up Hux’s cheek? This did not seem right. 

Suddenly Hux struggled up out of sleep and realized two things: one, the Hutt was a dream. It was actually Ren’s overly long arms and legs wrapped about him so firmly. It was Ren radiating heat like a mini furnace. Which lead to realization number two. It was also Ren licking his face. Ren was licking him. On the face. And it was not sexy at all. 

“Gaaaaahhhhhh what the stars, Ren???!?!!?” Hux squirmed away so violently he nearly fell out of bed. Ren simply blinked at him. 

“You know I'm flexible with trying new things, but face licking, especially first thing in the morning, is just not my particular kink, alright?” Hux stood up and grabbed his robe from the floor, tossing it around himself. “I'm going to clean up and then be off, I have an early meeting this morning to go over some new stormtrooper training protocols. Some of us have real jobs on board this ship, other than strutting about looking menacing.” 

Hux swept into the fresher, mind already churning on the upcoming meeting agenda. He nearly tripped over the furry mass on the floor. 

“Millie! So this is where you ran off to!” He scooped her up, planting a kiss on the top of her furry head. She twisted in his arms, turning to look at him. 

“Mrowr, meow mrowr mrowr.” Millicent swept a paw up to touch at his face.

Hux beamed at her, feeling foolish even as he did. “Are you jealous of Ren? Silly girl. You know I love you best!” He burrowed his face into her fur, missing the fact that somehow his cat managed to scowl at him. 

He gave her another peck on the top of her head, then set her on the floor and turned the shower on. Hux hung his robe on the hook by the door, and made to step into the spray. Millicent sat right there. Staring at him. He chuckled and stepped over her, into the water. She very nearly followed, taking little prancing almost-steps close to the stall of the shower. Finally, she gave up and stalked out of the room. 

*****************

Kylo Ren didn't exactly hate Hux’s cat. True, he was not exactly a “cat person” himself but he wasn't opposed to the animal. It's just that the damn thing seemed to get offended if Ren put his hands… or his mouth… on Hux. Usually he remembered to close the door to the bedroom. He'd forgotten last night, overtired from too much training. So of course then Hux had come to bed all warm and wanting and touching and whispering. And Kylo could never ever resist that sort of pull. When Hux was eager for him, wanting him, it swept Ren up like a swift ocean wave and pulled him under deep currents of need. It was the only thing he knew he would always stand helpless before. 

Of course Millicent effectively killed what would have been a delightfully satisfying evening, spent coaxing moans and praise from Hux’s mouth. Even the promise of her food dish being filled hadn't drawn her away. 

Then there had been a very bright light, and now Kylo Ren was the most confused he'd ever been. Which was saying a lot, considering his complicated past. 

Kylo was currently on the floor. At the doorway to the fresher. Twitching his tail. 

Which was really pfassking strange, since last night he'd gone to bed not having a tail. He had also lost rather an alarming amount of mass. And he was furry. Basically, he appeared to be inside Millicent, somehow. 

To say he was pissed off would be a laughable understatement. 

He had spent the night trying to just come down from the panic induced by whatever this was. He had curled up and slept eventually, sure it was a dream. And yet he'd just been kissed on the head by Hux, swooped in his arms like a little baby. Definitely not something possible in normal reality. So: not a dream.

He was assuming…hoping? desperately praying? … that if he was inside Millicent's form, that his real form was still in the bed.

Ren stalked to the edge of the bed, coiled his body tight, then sprung up onto it. Relief, there he was. Creeping over the sheets, he approached his proper body. It was distinctly odd to be observing himself this way. It was a unique opportunity though, to look at oneself from the outside.

He noted how huge his feet looked, peeking out from under the sheet edge. They looked downright ungainly from this vantage. Cat-Ren kept going, following his form up as he tried to ignore stray thoughts - ‘wow, my legs are really long, geez’ and ‘the ass is damn fine though, I have to say’ and ‘ugh, I didn't realize I had a mole THERE’ - until he had reached his shoulder. His dark hair flopped across his cheek, and his eyes were closed, lips parted ever so slightly. 

The soft snoring sounds indicated sleep. Ren realized with a start that he had not been entirely sure he’d find his body alive. Puzzled, he stepped closer, wondering what was animating it. After all, his consciousness or self or essence or whatever one cared to think of it as was currently jammed into Hux's cat so…. Oh…oh fuck. No, not that. That's fucking impossible anyway…thought the man stuck in a cat’s body…oh no.

Cat-Ren stretched out a paw gingerly, and swiped at Human-Ren’s cheek. The dark eyes snapped open instantly. A grin split those lips - Ren’s lips - wide. 

“Mrowr” offered Human-Ren, grinning.

*****************

Hux had dried off and had just finished shaving when he heard a strange noise coming from the bedroom. He popped his head out the door for a look. 

Ren was sitting up in the center of the bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him, unabashedly naked. He was hissing at Millicent, and flicking his fingers out at the cat, who was sitting calmly and staring at Ren while remaining just far enough away to be out of reach. 

Hux scowled. How he had fallen so hard for this overgrown man child was an eternal mystery that tormented him. 

“Ren!” He said sharply. Both cat and man turned in perfect sync to look at him. Hux was so surprised his mouth gaped open and closed a few times like a goldfish. 

“Stop teasing the cat. Leave her be.” Hux added a glare for good measure, just to make sure the message got through. Then he turned toward the closet and started pulling clean uniform pieces to dress in. 

*****************  
Human-Ren flopped back down after Hux’s scolding and went back to sleep almost immediately. 

The real Ren scowled as best he could with Millicent's features and walked to the edge of the bed to watch Hux. He had dropped his robe and stood nude in front of the closet as he fussed over a minuscule crease in his uniform sleeve. 

Cat-Ren twitched his tail and continued staring. He didn't often get to openly ogle his pale sweetheart. Partially because of Hux’s complex tangle of modesty plus self loathing, and partially because he was often a blur of activity and didn't stay put long enough to be ogled. 

As he flicked his eyes over the curves and lines of Hux’s body, Ren tried to sort his current situation. His working theory was that he and Millicent had - insanely - traded bodies somehow. Which was of course absolutely ridiculous. And yet here he sat, tabby paws on the sheets. 

The most pressing question on Ren’s mind was how the kriff did they switch back, because he had no intention of being a cat for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was neither beta'd nor checked by an astrophysicist for plausibility. I just couldn't shake the idea from the moment I saw that prompt.
> 
> Also, you can have my over-used ellipses when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long - and as I suspected I can't seem to wrap this up so one more chapter to come. I'd put a warning here but it would just say 'somewhat tasteless storytelling ahead' so there you are, hahaha.

Kylo Ren had conquered fear while still a small child. Discovering his own Force powers, and feeling his own mother pull back from him in a sort of fearful disgust as a result? Conquered. Feeling a subtle almost ghostly presence in his mind, that eventually began to speak to him, suggest he do terrible things, and worst of all, make perfect sense? Conquered. Committing horrible atrocities that felt absolutely justified in his mind? Conquered. 

Finding oneself suddenly trading bodies with a pampered tabby cat? Ren felt like every moment he wasn't hyperventilating was as big a victory as capturing an enemy commander. He was flat out terrified, full stop. 

Hux was dressed and gone. Cat-Ren had trotted after him, meowing pitifully but Hux had simply clucked his tongue and patted Ren’s little cat head. 

“I'll be home after work, Millicent. Same as always. You and Ren try to get along, hmmm?” Hux had crooned before departing. 

Now, Ren was alone with the reality that he was currently a cat. And it was time to do something about changing that. 

*****************

He stared up at the bed, where a single, huge, bare foot dangled off the edge. Millicent so far seemed content to just hang out in Ren’s body, asleep. At the moment that was good, as Ren was still working on what to do about all this.

His stomach - well, Millicent’s stomach, he supposed - was beginning to feel a bit empty. Sooner or later he'd have to feed himself. Right now though, he had a rather uncomfortable pressure lower in his abdomen. He began to pace back and forth, hoping movement might help while he pondered this mess.

‘So’, he thought to himself. ‘Piece it together, Kylo. What do you remember.’ He and Hux, tangled and squirming. The kriffing cat. Hux leaving him to fill the cat’s bowl. Millicent standing on Ren’s chest. A blue flare. A wrenching sensation. That was probably the moment it happened, Ren figured. Something to do with that light, that flash of blue. 

He stopped pacing, the pressure had become near unbearable. And he had figured out what it was. He needed to empty his - well, Millicent's - bladder. He padded into the fresher and…oh. Damn. 

He considered trying to leap up onto the toilet to take care of this, but the idea of falling in was really not appealing. With the closest approximation of a sigh he could generate as a feline, he stepped gingerly into the shower stall, squatted over the drain, and released. 

He had to figure out how to set things to right, and quickly.

*****************  
Millicent stretched lazily, rolling in the bed. For some reason she had found herself in the place of the dark beast who slept with her master. She wasn't just in his sleeping place, either, she had taken his shape. Some sort of magic had happened when she had confronted him last night. There had been a flash of light and then she had taken his form. And he, it seemed, had taken hers. 

It was a bit of shock, but she had been able to curl her now-huge form tight around her pale master and keep him close all night. She had tried bathing him a bit this morning but he had squirmed away quickly. 

She rolled some more, trying to get a feel for this strange shape. There was quite a shortage of hair, for one thing. She was a little cold. The limbs were so long, and so were all of the toes. The tail was missing entirely, and this fleshy stump in the front between the legs was uncomfortably hard at the moment. Overall, she would prefer to be back in her own perfect form, thank you very much indeed. Cats were nothing if not adaptable however, and Millicent would make this work if that is how things were going to be. After all, she was of a size with her master now and that had been nice last night.

Creeping to the edge of the bed, Millicent stretched her front paws down to the floor. This form was so big she could do that with the rest of the body still lying on the bed. Bizarre! Although, this was a bit awkward. She walked the front legs out a bit. Her belly now hung off the bed. She tried swinging a back leg forward a bit. 

Overbalanced, Millicent toppled Ren’s body inelegantly onto the floor. Not what she had been trying for, but she was down now. On all fours, she began moving out of the bedroom. It felt awkward. The front legs were shorter than the back so she ended up with her - his - ass sticking up in the air. She knew typically her master and the dark one walked only on the back legs, but she was more than a little scared to try that. Seemed very unstable. Maybe later. Right now she was hungry and thirsty. 

She continued into the living area, over to the small kitchenette when her food and water bowls were kept. Millicent bent to drink from her water dish, tongue lapping. She dipped forward, reaching to slurp some kibble from her food dish. Her oversized form meant her back banged awkwardly into the countertop as she stretched out. It hurt. She tried to stoop a bit more, so it would not keep happening. 

She crunched and crunched, these new teeth not as well suited as her own for this food but she had to eat. She could sense she was being watched, and flicked her gaze up to see herself, staring. Or rather, her body. The dark one was still inhabiting it, due to the magic. He was looking out from her feline eyes, and he seemed…angry. 

*****************

Ren wasn't sure if a cat was capable of showing much expression. He was certainly trying to convey rage, disgust, and horror all at the same time via Millicent’s little tabby cat face at that very moment. 

He had stalked into the living space to find Millicent - in his body, naked! - crouched on all fours, ass in the air, lapping kibble from a bowl and crunching it up. Kibble. To make it even worse, his body appeared to still have a bit of morning wood. This was so humiliating. He ground his - argh, her! - teeth. He had to fix this. 

Ren had always needed to clear his mind to solve problems efficiently. He crept under Hux’s desk, curled into a comfortable position and closed his eyes to meditate on the issue. He had already identified that the flash of light last night had been connected to this somehow. He and the cat had been touching…Millicent's paws had been on his bare chest, actually, so perhaps skin to skin facilitated this as well. Hux had been out of the room, had not seen what happened. Indeed, he seemed unaware this morning that anything was amiss. That was definitely a bit of a topic for a relationship talk at some point… “you didn't even notice when your cat and I swapped bodies!”

Frustrated, Ren gave a little growl. Nothing he had discerned so far helped bring him closer to figuring out why this had happened or how to reverse it. Usually this was the point where he’d get so angry he would lash out with the Force and just break things until he felt his rage levels subside a bit. 

Ren opened his eyes wide. The Force, how had he gotten so distraught and confused by fear to have forgotten his gifts? He hadn't even attempted to tap into the Force. He closed his eyes again, and reached out with his mind, trying to touch that power, that sense of connection with the universe that allowed him to do the things others could not. 

He could feel it there… a pulse, a thrum, a power. He could feel it but somehow he could not quite touch it. A few more attempts left him panting and very aware of the needs of Millicent's body. It needed water and food, and soon. 

As he stalked into the kitchenette, Ren realized that at least if he could not use the Force, he felt certain there was no chance Millicent could somehow utilize it from within his body. That at least was a good thing. He leapt up to a countertop, crept to the sink, and batted at the tap until the faucet came on at a light drizzle. He leaned in and lapped at the running water to slake his thirst. Once that need was sated, he attacked the little pile of cracker packets that always seemed to build up near the caf machine. Hux had a sort of hoarder tendency to shove them in his pocket when leaving the officers mess, even though he almost never ate them himself.

He tried to ignore the bumping sound, and just continued to eat. The grunting certainly piqued his curiosity more. And the weird guttural attempts at words definitely forced him to turn around. He regretted it immediately. 

Millicent had apparent noticed a call of nature of her own. In Kylo’s body. She was now trying to squat down and back her - his!! - hind end into her covered litter box. It was absolutely not going well at all. If it were anyone beside his own self in this position, Ren would be laughing until he wept. Somehow seeing your own form being contorted thusly was far less amusing. 

Ren ran forward and jumped from the counter. He ran over to Millicent and hissed and began meowing at her. How could she not realize this was not going to work? She was still trying to wedge into that absurdly tiny space, but finally looked up at him. Oh stars, let her be smart enough to follow me to the fresher, he thought as he turned and began to slowly walk toward the bedroom, glancing back at her every few steps. 

She followed. 

*****************

Ren sat primly the edge of the couch, exhausted. He had spent the day not only trying to function while in a cat body, but also carefully trying to keep Millicent from doing heinous things in his own body, all the while trying to figure out a way to reverse this whole mess, to no avail. He was tired, annoyed, frustrated, depressed, a bit hungry, and starting to wonder where that little cloth mousie that Millicent liked to bat around was. It sounded like a fun distraction now. 

Millicent, on the other hand, had slept a good portion of the day. She was still nude, clothing was just too complicated for Ren to try to help her through. Right now she was sprawled on the floor near the heat exchanger, asleep again. 

Ren was not prone to giving up or bouts of self pity, but at the moment he was feeling very low. He had not come up with any solutions to fix this. He had tried climbing on top of his own body again, for that skin to skin contact, thinking perhaps it would undo itself. No luck. He tried staring into Millicent's eyes, hoping somehow that would help. She seemed to understand what he was after, and complied with his attempts. It was no good though, nothing worked. 

He had tried using the Force again, and again it hovered there just out of reach. Now he was tired and a bit despondent, worried he'd be a feline forever. 

Ren had been so far in his own head that he had not even heard the door of their quarters opening. So it was a bit of a shock to suddenly see Hux standing there, a look of complete shock on his face as he took in the scene. 

“What the bloody hell is going on, Ren? Why are you lying around naked on the living room floor?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was neither beta'd nor checked by an astrophysicist for plausibility. I just couldn't shake the idea from the moment I saw that prompt.
> 
> Also, you can have my over-used ellipses when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel guilty publishing this on ADs birthday, it's like the worst present I could give him. Hahaha. 
> 
> Thanks for hanging with me to the end, readers! Mwah!

“What the bloody hell is going on, Ren? Why are you lying around naked on the living room floor?”

The real Ren, trapped in his feline prison, darted forward and positioned himself by Hux’s feet, meowing loudly. Hux didn't even glance down. He stalked over to Millicent-Ren, and nudged one thickly muscled thigh with his boot tip. 

“Ren? Hello?” 

Millicent-Ren opened one eye. Then the other. Then stretched luxuriously, which was obscene in Ren’s body which was still utterly naked and laid out on the floor. Hux’s eyes widened. They went wider still when Ren went to all fours and rubbed his side against Hux’s legs. He nudged his head into Hux’s palm, pressing insistently until Hux stroked his dark hair.

This was more than a little out of character for his knight. Kylo definitely had a deeply sensual side and was far from ashamed of it but initiating foreplay - if that's even what this was? - in the main sitting area of their quarters, by greeting him nude and on all fours was… well, new. 

Hux was flushed pink, and clearly rattled by this behavior. Ren continued to slink against his legs and arch into his touches, Hux growing more confused by the moment. 

“Alright. Well, I see you are in a mood. What's gotten into you? I'm going to feed Millicent. Maybe you should…have a shower or something.” Hux gave him a look and strode into the kitchenette. 

The real Ren hurried behind on his furry feet. He wasn't eager for whatever Hux imagined he was going to feed his ‘cat’ but he was hoping to also show some unusual behavior. After all, the General had a fine sharp mind. Surely with enough evidence he could piece together what had happened, despite the absurdity of it. At least, Ren hoped so. 

He sprang up onto the counter, a behavior he knew drove the General crazy and had mostly been trained out of the real Millicent. It wasn't enough, Hux was holding the water dish under the tap but really his eyes were on Ren’s body in the other room, still on all fours, this time trying to arch his back like the real Millicent would. 

With a tiny growl, Ren prowled across the counter to where Hux had absent mindedly stripped off his gloves and laid them down, and viciously swept them onto the floor with a paw. It was surprisingly satisfying, but as they made almost no sound when they hit the floor, it did not get Hux's attention as intended. 

His eyes landed on Hux's datapad. He made a quick mental calculation of how badly he might pay for this later against the possibility of being stuck like this and wasting a chance to get help. The tally came up in favor of Ren and against the poor datapad. It wasn't a high counter, maybe it would be fine. No matter, sometimes to achieve victory, sacrifices had to be made. 

Two steps closer, and it took two paw swipes. And down it went. Loud enough to get attention this time. 

Hux spun from the sink. 

“Millie! What are you doing up there. You know better.” Hux swept over and scooped up Ren’s cat form in one hand, then noticed his datapad on the floor. It looked good, just a tiny screen crack. Ren was quite pleased. He twisted in Hux's hand to look at him. Oh. Hux did not look pleased. 

But Ren had his attention now. 

*****************  
“This is NOT happening.” Navigation Officer Tem Rhodes was having deja vu. He scrubbed his hands over his eyes far too roughly, determined that he could scour the image away and make it not real. 

He peered at his screens again. Still there. 

“Pfassking son of a Bantha!! This is NOT happening! Frakking night shift, argghhhhhhhh.”

*****************  
Ren stalked angrily back and forth. This is not what was supposed to have happened. Hux was supposed to have realized strange things were afoot and put his brilliant reasoning skills to solving the challenge and setting things to right. 

Instead, he'd gotten angry that “Millicent” had cracked his datapad so he'd temporarily shut “her” into the fresher while he no doubt had a couple fingers worth of his favorite scotch and tried to calm down. To be fair, he had walked in on what must have been a weird scene. All the more reason he should be investigating though, at least in Ren’s opinion. 

He stalked a bit more. He needed another plan. Fast. 

*****************  
Hux sighed and slouched in his desk chair. He wasn't a superstitious man per se, but the last 24 hours had him genuinely wondering if the Resistance had found a way to actually place a curse on him.

It had started with Ren falling asleep and passing on sex last night. Hux can't remember a time when either of them were able to say no…with the exception of times when one or both of them had been injured. He had to admit, it had wounded his pride.

The day hadn't been great either. A pair of stormtroopers stole a transport and tried to defect to the Resistance. Hux had been forced to send a flight of TIE fighters to destroy the transport and those aboard. 

Rebels had infiltrated a small but important smuggling network the Imperial Forces had been using for certain…difficult to obtain goods. Now the prices were dramatically increased. And they were over the proverbial barrel with no leverage to rectify that at the moment.

The kitchen in the officer’s mess had an incident during lunch prep that resulted in the entire serving kettle of Hux’s favorite soup being spilled everywhere before service began. His cold sandwich was a miserable substitute. 

Then he'd returned to his quarters to find his lover being ridiculous and his cat being a datapad breaking maniac. 

He drained the rest of his tumbler of scotch and typed a few words on his keyboard to bring up the standard tech repair and request form on his desk workstation. It would be nothing of course to get the datapad replaced, it was more the principle of the thing. 

He opened the document and began typing in the required fields. As his fingers flew over the keys, he suddenly encountered an obstacle. A warm obstacle. Hux turned from the screen. Ren had draped most of himself onto the desk. One long arm was now stretched across the keyboard. 

Hux blinked. 

Ren blinked back. 

Being at a loss, Hux blinked again. 

Ren nudged his head against Hux’s hand. 

Hux leapt from his chair like he was on fire. “Okay, enough. What is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? Is this some kind of Force-related dementia? It's appalling and I want it to stop now, Ren, do you hear me?” 

With that, Hux hurried off to the bedroom, closing the door quickly behind himself. 

*****************  
Coudia Solate was reconsidering her life choices. She had been working hard aboard the Finalizer. She had risen fairly quickly, too. Partially by agreeing to command of night shift. She thrived under the discipline that General Hux demanded of his crew. 

But here she was again. With Nav Officer Rhodes again. With a mysterious asteroid field or whatever it was in their way. Again. Faced with making a decision to go through or try to go around. Again. For the second night in a row. 

Maybe she should have listened to her mother and gone into Imperial Infrastructure…settled down and married some nice government official. 

She sighed and tried to listen. 

“Sorry Rhodes, I checked out for a second. So this is essentially the same as before? Same configuration and everything?” 

“Yes ma’am, looks that way. About the same width, will take us maybe forty five minutes to an hour to cross through. Long range scans show the same scenario as before, seems to go on for ages so I am not sure we can even go around.” Rhodes replied.

“Well, the options are same as before too. We can summon General Hux and present the facts…or rather the lack there of and let him decide on a course of action. Or we go with the plan we used yesterday. Ask forgiveness rather than permission. Were any dangerous or harmful effects noted after we passed through last night?” She asked. 

“Nope. I ran hourly hull integrity reports to be certain. Checked radiation levels four times during my shift. Honestly going through it seemed to have absolutely no impact at all.”

*****************  
Hux sat on the bed, distraught. He had rushed to the bedroom, desperate to get away from whatever madness was plaguing Ren. He had cleaned up for the evening, freeing Millicent from the fresher, and tossed his pajamas on. 

The cat was sitting directly in front of him on the floor. Her gaze unwaveringly fixed on him, she barely seemed to blink. 

“I'm not sure what's happening, Millie. Is Ren losing his mind? Am I losing mine? He's being absolutely bizarre. I wonder if he ingested some kind of hallucinogen somehow. But he's been here, hasn't he? Ugh, I wish you could tell me what's going on.” 

The cat crept forward, arched up and put her front paws on Hux’s knees, leaning her face forward. Hux bent, touched his nose to hers. 

“I'm sorry I locked you in the fresher. You weren't really being yourself either. Maybe Kylo is making you act crazy by proxy. I am out of patience and energy for today. Whatever Kylo's problem is, it will have to wait until tomorrow. I need to sleep.” 

Hux walked to the bedroom door and opened it. 

“Ren, I'm turning in for the night. I suggest you come to bed and sleep too. You…need some rest.” 

He turned, set the lights to zero percent, and slid into bed. He was asleep almost immediately.

*****************  
Petty Officer Solate sipped her caf, and watched the screen. 

“How soon?” 

“We will cross into the field in three minutes on my mark…mark.” Rhodes chewed his bottom lip. Three minutes to sweat while they waited to roll the dice again. He had already downloaded the request for shift reassignment. He was going wait a few days to see how things went, but he wanted that paperwork ready to go just in case. 

“It's going to be fine, Tem. Just like last night. No big deal. You did a field sweep, no sizeable particles, right? Nothing to damage the Finalizer, bring down the shields or anything horrific?” 

“No, nothing that could even scratch our lady’s paint, no way.” Rhodes shook his head.

“Then for stars sake stop sweating all over the place. It. Will. Be. Fine.”

“There is one more thing. I mean, I don't think it matters at this point, but just for the record…I scanned as far as I could trying to find the edges of this. Compared it with last nights scans. I think it's actually one big field. Like a loop? An ellipse. We are in the center of it now. So I think we have to punch through to get out. There is no way to go around this time, we are inside it,” Rhodes was a bit nervous sharing this. Seems like something he should have calculated yesterday. He just couldn't find the edge. He needed to get the curvature from both inside and out. 

Coudia pondered that information for a few minutes. 

“Maybe we leave that off the official record. Like all of this. Okay, two minutes to go.” 

*****************  
Millicent-Ren crept into the bedroom and crawled awkwardly onto the bed. In an instant, Ren was there, pawing at her, quietly hissing with frustration. This day was a disaster. They were no closer to solving this, and if Millicent didn't get better at playing human, Hux would not only break up with Ren, but would drop his body off on some planet and Ren would be stuck as a cat forever for real. 

He sat down on his body’s chest and attempted to glare at Millicent with her own cat eyes. If they could communicate this would be so much easier. If he could just help her grasp some basic fundamental human behaviors…

The room suddenly glowed blue, the brightness rising in intensity until both Millicent and Ren were squinting.

Ren felt a twisting sensation as he closed his eyes against the glare of the strange light. He snapped his eyes open, found himself staring up at the ceiling. He looked down at himself, and saw himself! And Millicent, sitting on his chest. 

He tried moving his arms, and they rose up before his face just like magic. His face split in a grin. Millicent lost interest, jumped down and padded out of the room. 

“I'm BACK!” Ren whispered gleefully to the darkness. He could not stop grinning. He reached out to the Force, and felt it strong as ever. Just to be sure, he Force called a sock from the floor. It flew readily to his hand, and he dropped it happily back to the floor where it belonged.

Ren rolled to his side, slid closer to Hux. He snaked one arm around him, nuzzling as close as he could, placing tiny kisses on Hux's freckled shoulder. 

Hux stirred after a moment, lacing his fingers with Ren’s where they lay on his belly. 

“Are you feeling better?” Hux whispered. 

“So much better. I am so sorry love, I have no idea what was wrong with me. I was very much not myself.” 

Hux turned slightly in Ren’s grasp, so he could look him in the eyes. 

“S’alright. But I missed you, so don't do it again.” Hux dropped a kiss at the corner of Ren’s mouth. 

“I promise, I don't intend to. Never again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was neither beta'd nor checked by an astrophysicist for plausibility. I just couldn't shake the idea from the moment I saw that prompt.
> 
> Also, you can have my over-used ellipses when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.


End file.
